Hey Reader,

Last week I asked you to take a simple assessment.

Five observable signs that your project is about to fail.

• The response was immediate.
• People saw themselves in those signs.
• They knew what I was talking about.

The most common one people flagged.

Sign #1: People Keep Saying "Yes" But Acting Like "No"

The Pattern

You're in a stakeholder meeting.

• The sponsor nods. "We're committed."
• The Operations Director says "Yes, we can support this."
• The steering committee approves the plan.
• Everyone's on board.

Then you send the follow-up email asking for the first commitment.

Silence…

Or worse - a reply three weeks later saying priorities have shifted.

You schedule the kickoff.

Half the people don't show. The ones who do seem distracted or don’t have the authority to drive things forward.

You send weekly status updates.

Crickets…

Then when something goes wrong, suddenly everyone has opinions about why it's failing.

What This Actually Means

When people say yes in meetings but act like no outside of them, it's not laziness.

It's not poor execution.

It's a signal that something's wrong with how they actually see the project.

And usually, it points to one of three things:

1. They didn't actually buy in, they were performing agreement.

In a group setting, it's hard to say no or seem indecisive. So people nod along.

But privately, they have reservations they never voiced.

• Maybe they don't believe the project will work.
• Maybe they don’t really understand what you’re trying to achieve and how to get there.
• Maybe they're protecting their own team's capacity.

But they couldn't say that in the meeting.

So they said yes instead.

2. Their real priorities are elsewhere.

You think this is their main focus.

But it's not. It's third on their list.

They agreed to support it because you asked at the right moment, or the sponsor was in the room.

But when it comes time to actually commit resources or time, something higher priority wins.

3. There's an internal political or cultural reason they can't fully commit.

• Maybe their boss doesn't actually support this project (but didn't say so in the meeting).
• Maybe there's a turf war you don't know about.
• Maybe they're protecting themselves against risk by maintaining distance.

Any of these creates a gap between what people say and what they do.

Why This Is Dangerous

• It's dangerous because it's invisible for weeks.
• You think you have alignment.
• You think you have buy-in.

So you move forward.

You make decisions based on commitments that don't actually exist.

Then when someone doesn't deliver, or changes direction, you're shocked.

But the real problem started in that first meeting.

You didn't surface the real concerns.

You took the yes at face value.

The Early Warning Signs

Here's how to spot this before it costs you months:

In the meeting:

- Notice who didn't speak. Silence is information.

- Notice who spoke only when spoken to. That's often a lack of ownership.

- Notice the language. "We'll try to support this" is different from "We're committed to this."

After the meeting:

- Send a very specific ask within 48 hours. Something small that tests commitment.

- Ask for a specific person, specific deliverable, specific date.

- See who delivers without being chased.

In the following weeks:

- Track whether people show up to meetings they committed to.

- Track whether deliverables actually arrive.

- Track whether they're communicating proactively or only when chased.

The gap between yes and action reveals the truth.

What To Do About It

Step 1: Stop relying on group meetings for alignment.

Group meetings are where people perform.

Do your real alignment work one-on-one.

Step 2: Have individual conversations with key stakeholders.

Not to convince them.

To understand them.

Ask:

- "What would have to be true for you to actually prioritise this?"

- "What are your real concerns about this project?"

- "What would you need to feel confident moving forward?"

Listen more than you talk.

Step 3: Make commitments visible and tracked.

• When someone agrees to something, confirm it in an email.
• "So we've agreed you'll provide three developers for the design phase.
• That's weeks 3-6. Correct?"

Make it specific. Make it documented.

Step 4: Test commitment early.

• Don't wait until week 12 to discover that someone's real priority is elsewhere.
• Ask for something small in week 1.
• See if they deliver.

If they do, you have real buy-in.

If they don't, you've discovered the problem early.

Step 5: If the gap persists, escalate honestly.

Don't blame the person. Escalate the misalignment.

"I'm noticing a gap between the commitments we discussed and what's actually happening. That tells me something's not aligned. Can we surface what's really going on?"

Often, when you name it directly, people tell you the truth.

And once you know the truth, you can work with it.

Years ago, I was working on a transformation programme.

The CFO had approved it. In the steering meeting, he was fully supportive.

But in the first month, when I needed him to make a decision about budget allocation, he went silent.

• I chased him. He was always "in another meeting."
• I could have assumed he was busy and kept chasing.
• Instead, I asked for time one-on-one.

In that conversation, he admitted: "I'm not sure this transformation will work. I approved it because the CEO wanted it. But I have reservations."

That was the real information.

Once I knew that, I could address it.

I didn't try to convince him. I asked:

"What would need to happen for you to feel confident about this?"

He outlined three things. We adjusted the plan to address them.

Suddenly, he went from silent to active.

Because his real concern had been surfaced.

The Bottom Line

• People saying yes and acting like no is never just about execution.
• It's always a signal that something's misaligned.

Your job as a delivery lead is to surface that misalignment early.

Not by pushing harder or following up more.

But by creating conversations where people can tell you the truth.

When you do that, you either get real buy-in, or you discover early that you don't have it.

Either way, you're better off.

Because you can't fix what you don't see.

And you can't move forward on commitments that don't actually exist.

Next week, I'll dig into Sign #2: Key People Are Constantly Unavailable.

But this week, I want to challenge you:

Look at your current project.

Who said yes in the meeting but has been silent since?

• Reach out. Have a one-on-one.
• Ask what would actually make them committed.
• Then listen.

You might be surprised by what you discover.

Praying you have a blessed week.

Yom

P.S. - If you took the assessment and Sign #1 showed up as a problem on your project, don't ignore it. The fix is early and it's direct. Get those conversations happening this week.

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